How to Create a Self-Care Routine That Actually Works (Without Stressing Yourself Out)

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been running on empty for a while. You might be juggling work, family, relationships, and responsibilities that never seem to end, while your own needs have quietly slipped to the bottom of the list.

And if you’re in perimenopause, your body is changing too. Sleep might be elusive, moods unpredictable, and your usual energy levels harder to find. It can feel like everything is shifting - except your to-do list.

From my own experience, and as a health coach who works with women navigating stress, burnout, and hormonal transitions, I’ve seen how self-care can be both a lifeline and a source of guilt. You know you “should” take care of yourself, but the idea of adding another task to your list just feels like more work.

Let’s change that.

The Truth: Self-Care Isn’t a Spa Day

When you’re burnt out or perimenopausal, your nervous system is already on high alert. You don’t need elaborate morning routines or 90-minute yoga sessions (unless you truly love them). You need a system that helps you to exhale, something that supports your body, calms your mind, and fits into your real life.

Self-care isn’t something you do once in a while; it’s a way of relating to yourself with compassion and consistency. It’s how you refill your tank before it’s empty.

Step 1: Start With “Micro-Care,” Not Major Overhauls

Let’s begin small.

Consider this question: “What would make me feel 2% more supported today?”

Everyone’s answers will be different, but that might look like:

• Drinking a full glass of water before your morning coffee

• Taking three slow breaths before replying to an email

• Turning your phone off 30 minutes before bed

• Saying “no” to one extra obligation this week

These micro-habits might seem too simple, but they teach your nervous system safety and calm. Over time, they build the foundation for deeper healing, reiterating that you matter and are worth caring for.

Step 2: Align Self-Care With Your Energy

In perimenopause, your energy can fluctuate daily. One week, you might feel ready to take on a new project. The next, all you want is to hide away and rest.

It’s important to listen to your body and not worry about inconsistency or perfectionism.

Try tailoring your self-care to your current “season”:

• High-energy days: Movement that feels good like walking, dancing, strength work.

• Low-energy days: Gentle stretching, journalling, naps, or simply quiet time (I love a good jigsaw puzzle!)

• Emotionally heavy days: Connection with a friend, grounding in nature, or soothing rituals like a warm bath or herbal tea.

Allowing your self-care to be flexible makes it feel less like a chore and much more enjoyable.

Step 3: Create Rituals, Not Rules

Life is unpredictable right? Having rigid routines often sets you up to fail because they leave no wiggle room when your child gets sick, your dog needs to go to the vet or work requires you to stay late. Self-care is best viewed as a ritual - something you do with intention, not obligation.

A ritual could be lighting a candle before journalling, savouring your tea without distractions, or walking outside after work to mark the end of the day.

Small rituals anchor you in the present and help your body remember: I am safe. I am cared for.

Step 4: Protect Your Boundaries Like They’re Medicine (Because They Are)

You can’t pour from an empty cup and yet, so many of us try. Someone once described the human body to me like a car and said “You wouldn’t drive your car without petrol, would you? So why would you not fuel your body and let it run on empty?”

Setting boundaries is one of the most powerful forms of self-care. That might mean:

• Saying “not right now” without guilt

• Taking time off when you need it

• Asking for help instead of doing everything alone

Your worth isn’t measured by your productivity, achievements or appearance. It’s measured by intrinsic values such as honesty, kindness and responsibility. Allow yourself to fully rest, receive, and renew.

Step 5: Celebrate Your Progress

A five-minute daily practice done with presence is more healing than an occasional overhaul. So when you follow through on one small act of self-kindness - celebrate it! That’s your nervous system learning new safety patterns. That’s progress.

Ideas to help you celebrate personal progress

• Keep a journal of each small win

• Regularly reflect on what you've accomplished

• Accept praise from others

• Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself

• Use or say affirmations or practice gratitude

You Deserve Care

Self-care isn’t something you earn after working hard enough or reaching a breaking point. When you begin treating yourself with the same compassion you give to everyone else, everything changes, from your hormones and sleep to your confidence and joy.

You don’t have to do it all. You just have to begin with one small act of care today.

I’d love to know what that will be for you. Leave me a comment and share accountability for that step today – and we can celebrate your progress together!

If you’re feeling burnt out or overwhelmed, remember: your body isn’t broken. It’s communicating. And self-care is how you start listening again.

If you’re feeling stuck or unsure about how to take the next step toward better health, I can help you.

Check out my private programmes here, or book a free discovery call to find out more.